Meet Cleopatra et al.

Chickens! That was my one true goal right? Buy a house so I could have chickens! Now let me tell you that I am a researcher (shocker...) I want to make sure that I am making an informed decision on all important matters, such as what chickens needed to be, and could be, the center of my homestead journey. When choosing a flock for a more moderate climate, one might look for what colored eggs the breed lays, how beautiful their plumage is, or what sort of temperament they have. My consideration? What breed won't fing die in this heat?! This may sound slightly extreme, but the summer I bought my house was a particularly hot one in Vegas (aren't they all?) with temperatures reaching 115 degrees Fahrenheit or more. I heard first hand stories of people's chickens suffering and passing away due to heat stroke. Imagine chillin' outside when it's 115, but you're wearing a big down parka. Exactly, it sounds miserable! But here's the good news, chickens have adapted to live in many different climates, so it's really about finding the right breed for your situation.

Enter the Egyptian Fayoumi. I am a total fan of heritage breeds (ones that have historic roots, genetic diversity, have been raised on small family farms for years, and are particularly adapted to their environment.) The Fayoumi is a small bodied, lightly feathered breed, well adapted to dry arid climates, originating from Fayoum Egypt. Perfect! I think to myself. They have a beautiful upright tail and almost creepy looking black eyes, like they're staring deep into your soul. And boy do they have a personality! Now this is the bird for me! One of my favorite podcasts to listen to is Coffee with the Chicken Ladies. They did a breed spotlight on the Egyptian Fayoumi. Their description? The most likely breed to "give you the middle toe!" Yep...that's pretty accurate. As they matured, I named them ( of course I did) with names like Cleopatra, Mernit, Cersei, and Isis. All Egyptian queens or goddesses. And boy do they fit that description. They talk, alot...especially when they're pissed off!

Now, let's talk about keeping chickens in the dessert, in a backyard, where my neighbors are pretty close. Previously when I raised chicken in Washington, they were free range. Locked in the coop at night for safety, completely free to roam during the day. That's not really an option here. So, back to the drawing-board. My dad, who I'm pretty convinced is the best girl dad ever, helped build the coop and design the run area. Wait, who am I kidding he literally showed up at my door with the coop mostly pre-fabricated, assembled it (I brought him many cups of coffee) and then helped build the run. And there's the kicker, I had to have a run for the chickens, (no free ranging here!) We screwed together 2x4s, stretched chicken wire across them, and built a beautiful structure for my girls. Then we stood back and said...does it need a top?

Let's cut to the chase, yes dumbasses, it needs a top!!! My dad asks, "are we keeping the chickens in? or wild birds out?" Both? I answer so innocently. Also, let me not fail to mention Arlo, the not so ready homestead dog that needs to be kept out..from the top! (More on that adventure later). Well, for today let's start with keeping the wild birds out...Wild birds can carry diseases (ick) and they also eat the expensive chicken food (lame!) Also, something I've learned about pigeons in Las Vegas...they're dumb. As in, something about those birds here is different. Most birds, (pigeons, doves, etc.) when faced by an automobile bearing down on them would, you know, spread their wings and fly away. Not pigeons in Vegas, nope! They try to walk out of the the way, on their tiny little legs. I learned this shortly after moving to Vegas when I hit one of those birds with my car. Because as I drove through traffic and saw a pigeon in front of me I assumed "it has time to fly out of the way." But no! That MF tried to walk out of the way! Needless to say, I murdered that bird and was mortified by the experience.

OK, scene set. We decide to put a top on the chicken run, but it's done with fairly flimsy netting material, because "surely this will work." I'm sure you know what's coming. One morning I go out to feed the chickens and there, in the corner of the run is a dove. Now, this is not a Saturday morning when I have time to deal with the situation, it's a Sunday morning and I'm already running late for church! Inevitable, I run outside to feed the chickens before I dash for the car and head to church. I don't have time to step into my yellow "farm" boots, so I'm in heels and a dress, and there is that bird...staring at me from the corner. I try to "shooo" it out. But somehow my chicken run has become a complicated trap, the type where the bird can find its way in, but there is no exit. I chase the thing in circles, through the sand and gravel in my heels and dress, but somehow it can only find walls and chicken wire. Let me remind you about these birds that attempt to walk out of the way of cars... I finally gave up (because I was about to be super late) and left that bird in there. By the time I got back home it had somehow found it's way out. Let me tell you, it may have been the first, but it certainly wasn't the last bird that found it's way into my run. Some I have been able to herd toward the open door. Some have been assisted across the rainbow bridge by Arlo, yes that means what you think it does. It seems to be an ongoing saga with me fixing the "roof" providing a temporary reprieve, before some thing goes awry and I'm back to chasing birds and once again fixing the "roof."

I thought the main issue was keeping wild birds out because, "chickens really don't fly." I need all the emojis to express my stupidity and exasperation with that statement. Check in next week to hear the story of the post-it note on my front door that read, "your chicken is at my house..."

Beautiful upright tail!

Judgemental girl gang!